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January 4, 2021
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Anonymous
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Dear me,

I’m going to ramble a little bit. I could take the time to write something clear and concise, but that’s what I do for work. And this is for me. If me in 2050–you’re almost 60!–is anything like me now, then that’s how you talk to yourself, so that’s how I’ll talk to you. I’m not going to try and envision what you’re like, but I hope you’re fulfilled. Happy seems like the wrong word. Did things work out with Rory? We’re engaged now. I hope that isn’t a bittersweet memory. I just happened to see wedding dresses at Anthropology and felt IT for the first time. Do you remember? I am very in love at the moment. I won’t say too much about him though, if he’s still our person you know enough, and if not then that’s likely not something you want to reminisce about. I’m a little stressed at the moment as I’m currently working at Sierra Club and they just announced potential layoffs. I’ll know longggg before you get this letter if that happened. I imagine if it did it opened a pretty amazing window. I’m an optimist like that. Are you still? It’s my first day back from winter break and I’m writing this letter because at 2:09 MT I’m about tapped on work. I’ll be back in PR–how’s your Spanish? Ever actually become fluent?–in under two weeks and it’s 5 there, so. Do you remember the LTE tool? Did that actually happen? And do you keep in touch with Alexander? (I wrote his full name as I just assume I’m still friends with Alex Mitchel. I hope this doesn’t jinx that.) I’m going to add an interlude here that I know this letter is meant to be about climate change. However, I’m in a moment where I’ve accepted I’m doing what I can do, and not doing what I won’t–I should fly less, but if everything is going to fall apart I want to LIVE. Did we? Maybe that’s selfish, do you think we are? Do you miss mom (and dad)? I miss her and she’s still here–for a long time I hope–but it’s COVID and I couldn’t go home for Christmas and see them and the Rasta-pasta. There’s a vaccine though, Kristen just got hers. We don’t believe in NE resolutions, its Jan 4, but I’ll make one. For you. I promise to call everyone (family and friends) more this year. I know many of them may not be around now. I just called papa and aunt Zin, so I’m doing okay. I just read the button and it says “send your promise to the future” should I promise you something? Seems bound to fail. How about I try promising you to keep doing my best, so that things work out alright, and so that you don’t have too many regrets. I imagine there will still be a couple. Do you remember when we didn’t believe in regrets? Well, she was young. Oh to be in college. But regrets aren’t really something to be sad about, only paths not taken, and if we didn’t take them then we wouldn’t be here now… so I suppose it’s not worth really regretting (ah, I am still young. So are you!) How often do you do yoga? Still climb? I hope so, but if not I’m sure there’s plenty of there things to take space. Can I flip this a bit and ask you to make me a promise? When you get this letter, can you do the thing you’ve been putting off? Whatever it is an no mater how infeasible–can you find the time and money to just make it happen? We’re very good at that. Maybe you already did. I could keep writing, and maybe you want this letter to be longer, but I think I’ll stop. That feels right. Tell the people I know I love them, and tell the people I don’t I’m excited to meet them. And keep reading books. And if, for whatever reason, someone else gets this letter then forget the regrets part, please don’t be sad I’m gone. It was all worth it. At least up until 30, I can tell you I did live. And I was happy, even if that’s less important.

Love,
Hillary

P.S. (Oh you know I had to.) So if you can’t exactly remember this moment in time. Karlie and Courtney just texted about hiking before I head back to San Juan, and I just took a little girls trip with Kristen and Megan to Leadville–such a cool town. And I’m still procrastinating about sending mom and dad their presents. I don’t know why I hate the post office. Do you still? Rory just waked in from Sawaya, I hope he leave that place soon. I may be snow boarding at Copper on Friday and failed to make a climbing reservation with Grace, but we went yesterday. (Did her and Christian stay together?) Anyway, I’m really off. Cheers!

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